A Pastoral Counseling Model Based on John Chapter 4

A Pastoral Counseling Model Based on John Chapter 4

By Nak Moo Jun

 

Introduction

 

The goal of Christian counseling may vary according to our theological understanding of what the counselee needs and what the counselor can do for the needs. For example, Jay Adams believes that counseling is the work of the Holy Spirit[1] and says that the confession and forsaking of sin is essential for solving a man’s problem and relieving his soul.[2] In a similar context, Mark McMinn distinguishes between care for the soul and cure of the soul,[3] suggesting that the former is the work of the Christian psychologist while the latter is God’s work. In consideration of these ideas, we can say that the purpose of pastoral counseling is caring for the soul in expectation of the curing of the soul. Particularly the term ‘care’ is considered important because it characterizes the unique ‘love’ relationship between a pastoral counselor and his/her counselee, which is not like that between a physician or a lawyer and his/her client.

 

Description of the Model

 

With this understanding of the purpose of Christian counseling, I developed a pastoral counseling model based on John Chapter 4, in which Jesus gave pastoral counseling to a Samaritan woman and healed her soul. This model consists largely of four stages: first, building a relationship between the counselor and the counselee; second, finding the counselee’s needs; third, identifying the counselee’s problems; and fourth, restoring the counselee’s relationship with God, neighbors, and herself. The following are the details of this counseling model.

 

Details of the Model

 

1. Building a relationship between the counselor and the counselee

When Jesus approached the Samaritan woman, he took the initiative in building a relationship with her by saying, “Will you give me a drink?” (Jn 4:7) Her response to Jesus’ request suggests that she is very cautious about starting a relationship with a new person (9). According to Charles Holman, the cases of pastoral counseling are largely divided into self-condemned cases and socially condemned ones, the former condemned by their own consciences and the latter by society,[4] and most of the cases fall into both of the two categories. The Samaritan woman also shows that she has difficulties in her conscience and her social relations with the villagers. This means that the counselor should take the responsibility to initiate a sound relationship with the counselee. Holman also says, “The personal relationship is the most important factor in therapy” and “the personal relationship of intimate friendship and deep concern is the very means by which help is given.”[5] According to Brad Johnson and William Johnson, almost every type of psychological disorders shows social or interpersonal problems as their indicators.[6] In this sense, it is no exaggeration to say that the success of pastoral counseling relies on the first step, namely, the counselor’s construction of a healthy personal relationship with the counselee through which all the subsequent processes take place.

 

2. Finding the counselee’s needs

When he has established a relationship with the Samaritan woman, Jesus talked about “the gift of God” (10), which is living water welling up in her to eternal life (10, 14). By his omniscient insight, Jesus knew that her soul was thirsty and in need of the living water. When he mentioned this gift of God, the woman responded right away by saying, “Sir, give me this water” (15). As mentioned in the introduction, the primary goal of pastoral counseling is ‘care’ before ‘cure.’ Whatever the reason is, every counselee suffers from some kind of deficiency such as hunger, thirst, loneliness and restlessness. Thus, before identifying and solving problems causing such deficiencies, it is important for the counselor to find the deficiencies, to sympathize with the counselee for the needs, and to help the counselee to have a hope of satisfaction for the needs. This is true especially when the case is exceptionally difficult to establish a relationship. For example, Johnson & Johnson recommend emphasis on how the professional may be able to “help with the situation” rather than on “treating the counselee’s disorder.”[7] Seeing the counselor’s concern over his/her needs, the counselee is convinced of the counselor’s sincere love and accepts the counselor as a partner on his/her side. This process may help them make joint efforts to get out of the counselee’s inadequate situation.

 

3. Identifying the counselee’s problems

The Samaritan woman’s request of living water suggests that she has opened her heart to Jesus and is ready to follow Jesus’ guidance to get it. Then, Jesus brings up her husband problem by saying, “Go, call your husband and come back.” She has had five husbands in the past and is now living with another man. Her wrong attempts to quench her need (thirst) have wounded or corrupted her life, leaving a long trail of shame that is troubling her conscience unceasingly. She needs to be healed of the wounds or the corruptions not only to be released from the past but also to prevent additional wounds in the future. In fact, this is the most difficult part because it involves the counselee’s confession of sins and forgiveness of the sins. In order to present morality and responsibility as the basic nature of human beings to be restored through Christian counseling, Jay Adams argues that Adam was created as a moral being[8] and as a social being.[9] This view of human beings may enlighten the counselor about hidden spiritual problems in the counselee, and if accepted by the counselee it may boost up the counselee’s motive for solving sin problems no matter how much it costs. Despite its importance, however, the counselor needs to carry out this process very carefully and patiently because hasty “labeling” can easily be misunderstood as or actually be “stigmatizing.” Jesus accepts the woman’s confession as “right” although it sounds like telling a lie. This suggests that priority should still be given to the maintenance of relationship over the identification of problems.

 

4. Restoring the counselee’s relationships with God, neighbors and herself

This stage is more the result of the previous stages than a process to be done by the counselor. When the woman’s sin was revealed to and forgiven by Jesus, her attention was drawn to how to worship God. In addition, she ran to her village and told people about Jesus. This shows that her relationships with God and with her neighbors were restored. She also became able to talk about her past life freely, which implies that she accepted herself and did not feel shame at herself any longer. She was no more a sinner or an outcast. This is beyond the counselor’s work and belongs to the realm of the work of the Holy Spirit.

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[1] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling, Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1970, p. 20

[2] Ibid, p. 105

[3] Mark McMinn, Care for the Soul, Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Academic, 2001, pp 10-11

[4] Charles Holman, Getting down to Cases, New York: Macmillan Company, 1942, p. 27

[5] Ibid, pp 25-26

[6] Brad Johnson & William Johnson, The Pastor’s Guide to Psychological Disorders and Treatments, New York: Routledge, 2000

[7] Johnson & Johnson, p. 79

[8] Jay Adams, A Theology of Christian Counseling: More than Redemption, Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1979, p. 118

[9] Ibid, p. 126